Come and Find Me!
by Arctic Banana
Summary: Blackout loses his niece in the big city. Faced with the choices of either finding her or facing the wrath of his misandronous Aunt Vertigo, he struggles to get her back before his sister realizes she's missing.
1. Meet My Niece

_I'm so sorry that I haven't updated in a while guys, but hear me out. A few weeks ago, one of my cats ran away from home. I was devastated, because back in June, two of my three cats accidentally got out of the house and neither of them returned. One of them we found dead in the street. So, of course I was upset. I thought I'd never see my precious Cookie again. Then about a week ago, Cookie came back home- and she's fragging pregnant, which is a problem not only for obvious reasons, but because the person we got her from told us she was fixed. Those damn liars..._

_And now for the granddaddy of all my troubles... My dad was in the hospital for several days. He broke his leg in an accident. So naturally, I was very depressed. He came back home recently and is fine, so I'm in a better mood. The only reason I'm even posting anything right now is because this has been on my computer for a while, and I hadn't uploaded anything in a while. I'm feeling better now, so perhaps I'll update again soon, although since I'm now a parent for a parent, it won't be regular._

_Anyways, with that depressing note now said, let the laughs begin. This story was written for my buddy, Bran Flakes, who, after reading the things I wrote that make mention of Blackout's evil "Aunt Vertigo", asked me if Blackout had any other family._

* * *

"Hey Blackout, we've got a problem," Barricade said.

"What kind of problem? Did you get another girl pregnant again?" Blackout asked.

"What?! No, not that kind of problem!"

"Oh. Then what is this problem of which you speak?" he cocked his head.

"Your Aunt Vertigo wants to speak with..." he was interrupted by Blackout's panicked screaming. "Yeah. Exactly."

"Tell her I'm not home!" he begged.

"Too late. Here," he shoved the phone into his hand.

"Um... Hello, Aunt Vertigo. No, that wasn't a girl screaming Aunt Vertigo, that was me. I promise I'm not in the process of breeding so that I can "fill up this world with idiots like me". What? No, the guy who answered the phone wasn't my boyfriend. That was Barricade." Barricade gave him an awkward stare. "Yes Aunt Vertigo, I can assure you that I'm not gay." _But if all femmes are like this, maybe I should consider converting… _Blackout thought to himself. "Huh? Yes, I know you hate me. You've been telling me that since you found out Mom was pregnant. Look, can you just tell me why you called?" Blackout said into the phone in a half-hearted tone. "Really?! She is?! Oh, that's awesome! Yes Aunt Vertigo, I know you'll castrate me if I fail. I live with that prospect every day of my life. I'll be careful with her, I promise." Blackout quickly hung up the phone and did a little dance. "Awesome!!!"

"What's awesome?" Barricade asked.

"Aunt Vertigo says my sister's coming to drop off my niece so I can watch her," he explained.

"You have a sister? Is she cute?" Barricade asked curiously.

"She's bonded, dude."

"Yeah? Yer point?"

Blackout shook his head. "Help me clean this place up before my niece gets here!"

Barricade sighed. "Okay..."

* * *

Blackout heard a knock at the warehouse door and quickly rushed to answer it. "Firefly! Hi!" he greeted his sister.

"Hey Uncle Blackout, guess what?! I pushed an Autobot kid into the path of a moving vehicle today and sent him to the ER!" his niece said proudly.

"Good girl, Torrent! See, that's why you're my favorite niece!" he congratulated her.

"I thought I was your only niece?" Torrent pointed out.

"Yeah, which also makes you my favorite!"

"I hope this isn't too much trouble. I mean, it really is short notice," his sister said.

"No worries, Fly. Here, Torrent, go play with Aunt Cade a moment," he said, nudging her towards Barricade.

"What did you call me?!" Barricade demanded.

"Aunt Vertigo threatened me again," he said in an irritated tone.

"Yeah, well, misandry was always part of her charm. Anyway, I'll be back tomorrow to pick Torrent up. Oh, and Blackout..."

"Yeah, sis?" he asked.

Firefly grabbed him and pulled his face closer to her level. "If you screw up, you'd better hope that Aunt Vertigo doesn't leave anything left for me!!" she threatened.

"Okay, sis... I understand!" he whimpered.

"Good." She let go of him and looked down at her daughter. "I'll be back later, sweetie! Goodbye!"

"Bye, Mommy!" she waved back.

Firefly gave her older brother a menacing glare and left. Blackout sighed with relief and turned around to face his niece and Barricade.

"Well that was cheerful..." Barricade stated.

* * *

"I never met your niece before. She seems pretty intelligent for her age," Barricade said as he sat down at the table next to Blackout.

"She is," Blackout agreed.

His niece walked in to get something to drink. "Hi, Uncle Blackout! Bleep bloop!"

"Bloop bleep!" Blackout replied playfully.

"Bleepy bleep!" she said, taking her sippy cup from Blackout.

"Bloop bloop bleep bloop," he added.

"Bloopy bleep," she waved goodbye and walked out of the room.

Barricade seemed so confused. "What were you two saying?"

"Hell if I know," he shrugged.

* * *

Torrent was bored. Uncle Blackout was talking to Barricade and her stuffed alien could only entertain her for so long. She got up and walked into the kitchen. "Hey Uncle Blackout, I'm gonna go walk around outside for a little bit," she announced before walking away.

"Okay sweetheart, that's fine," Blackout replied absentmindedly. Five minutes later, he realized what he'd done. "Did I just give my niece permission to go out alone into the city?"

* * *

_In memory of my dad's piece of crap Neon. It died so that he may live._


	2. Bumblebee's New Friend

**:Writing like this means that it's being spoken in Cybertronian.:**

_For Bran Flakes._

* * *

Bumblebee moped underneath a tree. Nobody wanted to play with him... They were all too busy. He looked up when he heard Ironhide and Ratchet arguing over something stupid. He sighed and shook his head. This was getting all too common. The move to a new planet wasn't always barrels of fun. Tensions had been running high, fights had been breaking out over trivial things, and even Optimus seemed to be getting stressed out. Just that morning, he'd yelled at Jazz for no reason other than the fact that he happened to be right there when he was angry.

He stood up and decided to move someplace quieter. Transforming into his alt-mode, he drove off down the street without looking back. He wondered if Jazz was having any fun. The Solstice had taken to making friends with as many humans as he could and was currently taking a ride through town with Epps.

His mind then wandered to Sam. He'd gone with his French class to Canada. He wasn't allowed to go along with him, since there was no need for Sam to have a car with him. "What's so special about Canada anyway?" he mumbled to himself, angrier that he couldn't tag along than anything else.

He stopped at the park and transformed, sitting down under a tree and watching a dog mindlessly chasing after a Frisbee just like a drone. The owner seemed less interested in the dog and stood almost catatonic, staring directly at Bee. He'd forgotten that he wasn't supposed to transform in public...

* * *

Torrent looked around. She was far from the warehouse where Barricade and Uncle Blackout were residing. This planet was a lot different than what she was used to. For one thing, the natives here were only slightly taller than she was, yet by their standards, many of them were already adults. They were also quite squishy and odd looking. For another, they seemed disappointingly unintelligent. Maybe she should just go back. There was nothing really interesting out here. But where _was_ back? Maybe one of the creatures staring at her would help. She looked at a lady standing on the sidewalk.

**:Um, excuse me, do you know how I can get to...um, hello? Are you listening to me?: **she asked. The lady just continued to stare at her.

"Is it talking?" someone asked.

"It sounds more like it's spouting electronic gibberish to me," another said.

**:I'm sorry, what was that? I can't understand you,: **she replied. **:Can you guys maybe speak in Cybertronian?:**

"What do you think it is, Mommy?" a little kid asked.

"I don't know, but maybe someone should call the police..." a person replied.

Torrent shrugged and walked away to find someone who spoke Cybertronian. The people watched her leave, all still whispering and pointing. **:Maybe something in the atmosphere is radioactive and is making everyone on this planet stupid,: **she reasoned to herself. After all, a race couldn't be _that _stupid, could it? _(Note: She obviously wasn't aware of the Bush election)_

She continued to walk down the street when she sensed a signature similar in origin to hers. There was another Cybertronian nearby...

* * *

Bumblebee recharged in his alt-mode under a street lamp. He awoke when he felt weight on his hood. The first thing he saw were two red optics staring in through his windshield. He was about to freak out, thinking maybe it was Barricade, but then realized that it was definitely too small to be Barricade. Not only that, but Barricade had four optics, not two. Besides, if the Decepticon kneeled on his hood like that, it would cave under his weight and Bumblebee would be in a lot of pain. No, this was someone else entirely. In fact, it was a sparkling.

"Who the slag are you?!" Bumblebee demanded. The sparkling narrowed its optics in confusion. Bumblebee then realized that perhaps it didn't speak English. **:I said, who the slag are you?!:**

**:Ooh, you said slag!!: **the sparkling replied.

Bumblebee would've face-palmed if he had hands and a face in his Camaro mode. **:Well at least now I know you're old enough to talk.:**

**:Are you an Autobot or a Decepticon?: **the sparkling asked.

Bumblebee scanned the area to make sure that she was the only Decepticon present. For all he knew, she could have run away and had someone looking for her. **:If I tell you, do you promise not to hurt me?:**

**:You're an Autobot, aren't you?: **she asked. Bumblebee was silent. **:You are! You're an Autobot!:**

Feeling vulnerable in his alt-mode, Bumblebee transformed into robot mode. The sparkling was no longer much of a threat to him. **:Yes, I am, actually. And you're not. I can tell because your optics aren't blue.:**

**:Actually, optics color dictating one's faction is a bit of a misnomer. Optical sensors don't always reflect one's affiliation with a particular side, as they don't always come in red or blue. Decepticon/Autobot hybrids often have purple optics and may belong to either side, and some Cybertronians, usually Autobots and neutrals, have yellow optics. Also, Frenzy is clearly a Decepticon, yet his optics are blue.:**

Bumblebee stared at the sparkling, amused. **:You're quite intelligent for your age, aren't you?:**

**:Yeah. My mom says I'm probably either going to be a surgeon or a politician. And then my Uncle's friend says that I'm probably just going to kill people for a living.:**

Bumblebee laughed. **:I'm Bumblebee.:**

**:My name's Torrent!: **the sparkling replied.

At the time, Bumblebee didn't even care that the sparkling was a Decepticon. He was just happy to have someone "his age" to play with. Likewise, Torrent was also excited to find somebody on this planet that wasn't apparently a radioactive crack baby.

**:So, what do you do for fun on this planet?: **Torrent asked.

**:I'll show you!: **Bumblebee replied enthusiastically.


End file.
